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Hey twinkly pies!!!! ^_^ lol is this table too eyehurtingful? :P I just felt like making something extra sparkly ^_^ Anyways my site's almost open!!!!!! :D Vintage-Fairy.com <-- Yep thats why i've kinda abandoned this space... i just wanted to make something a little more challenging than just a blog ;) I've been soooo busy lately there's not much in the site yet but i'll get there soon! ^_^ i won't be updating here anymore though so this'll be the last one :(
Ooh and guess what?!! IM GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mmhmmm it was the biggest shock ever and just the most perfect happiest day of my life, it was one of those moments that just felt so unreal and almost like an out of body experiance :P every second was perfect, from the time he woke me up with brekky in bed ( :O!!!!) Ad the whole day he just kept looking at me with this look on his face i just knew somethig was up!!! But i wouldnt have ever in a million years have guessed he'd propose i still don't half believe it's happening!!! :P I mean he's just so perrrfect he's adorable, he's sexy, he's smart, he's MINE!!! for ever and ever!!!! *evil giggle* :P I wanna write something on my site now so i'll continue my crap there :P see ya!!! xxxx |
 
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 . . . e a s t e r m o n d a y
happy easter chickydudes n chickettes!! ^_^ it's def. a happy easter for me!! :P i've just come back from what i reckon was the worst couple of weeks of my life.. but i guess it wasn't really.. things just feel so dramatic in the moment :P.. especially for me coz im such an emotional person ;) anyway like right after i wrote this blog about him me n my baby splitted up :'( n my world fell apart in a way i coudnt have ever imagined.. like i did have a life before me and him.. so i thought it would just be a lil bit more empty without him.. ok so i knew it was gonna be a WHOLE lot more empty without him but i didn't think i wouldn't even hav e a life to speak of without him :( but we're back!! :P and better than ever if i may add :P and ive never been so happy or so fulfilled or so excited with life as right now.. i just wanna freeze everything in this moment and just live it forever. . . i love you curt
. . . w e d n e s d a y april 5
thought i'd actually use one of my tables for once :P i luv this piccy ^_^ like emo'y n fantasy all rolled in one delicious lookin guy :) ok . so he's a cartoon . . :/
. . lol moving on ;) this is just gonna be like a really long and boring bitchfest so.. yeah.. you know you've got better stuff to do ;) so... off you go. . . :)
... mmhmm im in a weird mood :) i just soo need to write all this down coz so much is going through my mind i need to upload it off someplace :P (upload?) is that the word. . . :P don't u just upload pics? :/ lol i think i;ve been going on the net too much... :\ . .i was just trying to start an essay (due in like 2 hours :/) and i haven't written one in like a year and it was soo hard to express myself without using smileys!! :P must be all that texting. . . kids these days eh.. *tsk tsk tsk* :P
. . anyways like so much has happened today and i feel like my whole outlook on life has almost changed in a way :) iono if a smiley face is really appropraite coz im def. not feeling in a very smiley mood :P . . . .
. . i almost lost my life today :( not my physical life; my life, like the spark in me :) my reason for living, coz there wouldn't be a life in me if i lost him. this is all gonna get all lovey dovey n gay so you guys can stop here if for some reason you came down here :/
ima make you read this once ive written this sexybutt :) i know it's stupid but iono.. its my version of a love letter :P i just gotta put it here coz i want the whole world to know how i feel about you :)
curtis :P ma currt ^_^ i love talking about you... i love showing you off when we do things with ppl.. :) i love all the little things you do, i love how you always let me win in that car racin game and always deny it :P i love how u pick the cheesiest n biggest slice of pizza n give it to me n then u take urs. . :) i love how you put your jacket over me when your the one who'se cold, i love how you open doors for me, reach for things for me...
i love how much passion you give me...how upset i get when we fight, i love that i care so much, in a way i couldn't ever imagine caring about someone else... someone that could hurt me so easily, coz he has my everything, my hopes and dreams, and all my future plans.. resting on him :) i love that your making me cry just writing this, and jus how gay your making me sound right now ^_^ coz i never thought id be that girl, the one so madly in love she wouldn't know wtfs going on around her, the one with the stupid smile on her face when she's daydreaming in class :P . .
i love you :) baby i love your accent, not just the canadianness but the way you say things, the way you clear your throaght... . .the deepness of your voice, the sexy whispers on the phone every night :) the sweet nothings you say to me that i replay over n over again in my head when your not around. . .
ur the reason im feeling this way.. the reason why my heart's still sore from getting ripped out just this morning.. when i thought i lost you :( ur the reason i get up with a smile every morning, y i feel so safe just knowing that no matter what i do and no matter how much i mess things up . . theres always gonna be that someone that's gonna be there for me, and love me. . . no matter what :) . unconditional love they call it :P
. .i was gonna write about our fight, the biggest one ever, the one that tore my world down, when u came n stuck it back together with your words :( was gonna write about how much i regret it, how much i swear to u i'll never say things like that ever again. never say i hate you, never leave without telling you how much i love you. . i thought i'd say i regret it... but i dont :) its made us stronger and we both know it. . . .
and i know u'd have that look on ur face while your readin this ^_^ wondering y i'm doing this :) why i can't say these things to your face... wonderin y the fuck im not doing my essay :P
. .uno... the look u do :P kinda serious but so fuckin sexyyy :) like sorta concentratingly :) like how you do when your lookin off in the distance all quiet. . . .and when i ask you what your thinking about you always say '........nothing' . . lol your such a guy :) and i love that.... i love your spider squishing bottle opening yummeh wanderin tough but ohso gentle hand ^_^ . .n ur cotton candy lips ^_^ n .. . lol k ill stop now i know you hate when i go on about your royal sexyness :P
. . back to the feeling of life that u gimme :P that feelin that gives me the courage to take risks, n to do what i reckon's right even though it never is :) n to love myself :P i've probably gotten so up myself since we fell in love curt, coz just the fact that someone like you would be with me like that, and give all of yourself to me, so openly and innocently :). . makes me feel pretty dam special :P like... i must be... you know you could get ay girl you want// you know how unreasonably jealous i get when they flirt with u :(. . i'm so in love with us :) with our relationship... with the fact that even if we have the most horrible breakup like tomorro, i won't ever regret it, . .i wont ever say i knew all along he wasn't being honest, i'd say i loved him, n he loved me, n what we had for while we had it was worth all the pain that came when it was over :). . im only saying this because nothing lasts forever.. i'm not that good of a person, i don't do charity work or pray or go to church, so my lucks got to run out eventually, i don't deserve to have you in my life for the rest of my life . it just wouldn't make sense :) i wouldnt ever feel any pain ever again. . . so nothing last forever.. but together till it ends ;) to quote kylie minogue in some song i don't remember what :P
. . i love you . . is basically the whole jist of it ;) . .
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I dropped a tear in the ocean.
The day I find it is the day i stop loving you.
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One night a guy & a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed & that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy. Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it. "Without your love, I would die."
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The hardest thing about dreaming about someone you love...is to wake up.
but if the only place I could see you was in my dreams...i'd sleep forever.
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I was lost in a lonely sea. A portrait painted solo, lack of glee. Now just a black smoke memory, the times fades slowly, yet, so rapidly.
A fear of falling holds my wrist. I point my fist, and turn and twist. But something's pushing me and will succeed.
And though I wish, a shoot and miss, and try to get away from this, there's nothing I can do, that I can see.
Why did you have to happen now? I'm all in doubt. Confusion takes its route. When everything was so damn clear, you made my clarity just disappear.
Each word you say brings me back to, beautiful you. The things you do. And now I find myself oh so confused.
I yell and scream, and hope and dream. Life is so mean. But why to me? My body and my soul feel so abused.
You’re somebody I can't forget. I can't regret, it just leaves me upset. When everything was looking up, you came along and emptied out my cup.
No matter how it boils down. I swim or drown, or smile or frown. I'll still have every last sweet memory.
I want to show my soul to you, and come unglued, forget my rules. I could not keep you as an enemy.
But if you were to break in two, my love for you, I’d shed a tear or two. Be careful, because you own it all. My final fall depends on when you call.
So let’s admit there's something there, it's in the air, and in my stare. I’m thinking I could give you all of me.
So here you go, it's yours to keep. To hold or break. To love or shake. So here's my heart, try not to break it, please.
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Love like you've never been hurt.
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A boy and a girl
The best of friends
From elementary to high school
From beginning to end
Through all these years
Their friendship grew
They both felt the same
But neither knew
Each waking
moment
Since the day that they met
They both loved each other
Sunrise to sunset
He was all she had
In her terrible life
He was the one
Who kept her from her knife
She was his angel
She made him smile
Though life threw him curves
She made it worth all the while
Then
one day
Things went terribly wrong
The next few weeks
Were like a very sad song
He made her
jealous
On purpose he tried
When the girl asked *do you love me*?
On purpose he lied
He
played with jealousy
Like it was a game
Little did he know?
Things would never be the same
His plan was working
But he had no clue
How wrong things would go
The damage he’d do
Then one night she
broke down
Feeling very alone
Just her and the blade
No one was home
She dialed his
number
He answered "hello"
She told him she loved him
Then hung up the phone
He
raced to her house
But came a minute too late
Found her lying in blood
And her heart had no rate
Beside her was a note
And in it her confession
Her long for this boy
Her only obsession
As he read the
note
He knelt down and cried
Grabbed her knife
And that night they both died
She was found in his arms
Both of them dead
Under her note
His handwriting said
I love her so
She never knew
All this time,
I loved her too…
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You know it's love when you want him to be happy.
even if you're not part of the happiness. |
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10th grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.
11th grade
The phone rang On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.
Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. “My date is sick” she said; he’s not going to go well, I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”. So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn’t think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “you’re my best friend, thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.
A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say “I do” and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn‘t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said “you came!” She said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: “I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!”
I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.
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Always be yourself,
because the people who mind dont matter.
and the people who matter dont mind. |
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She looks back at me,
Her face pale and white,
Her hair hangs wildly,
And her eyes look sad and tight.
If she dies tomorrow, next week or today,
There are things she will regret,
And things that she should say.
She’s not afraid to die,
But there are things she should have said,
But she didn't know how to voice them,
So she kept them in her head.
So if she never sees you,
She wants you to know,
You'll be in her heart,
Wherever she may go.
She looks into my eyes,
This girl who i call 'she,'
A tear falls down her cheek, It's so easy to forget that this girl is really me |
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Hating is easy, but love takes courage.
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Girl: Slow down im scared
Boy: No this is fun
Girl: No its not, its too scary
Guy: Then tell me you love me
Girl: Fine i love you but slow down!
Boy: Now give me a big hug
*Girl hugs Boy*
Boy: Can you take my helmet of and put it on your self? its buggin me.
In the paper the next day: ...A motocycle crashed yesterday into a building because of a brake failure, two
people were involved, a male and female, but only one survied.
The truth was that half way down the road the 18 year old boy realised that the brakes
had broke, but he didnt want to let his partner know. Instead he made her say she loved
him and felt her hug one last time, and let her wear his helmet so that she would live,
realizing that he would be the one that died. |
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The worst thing a guy can do is let a girl fall in love...when he doesn't intend on catching her fall.
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Girl: ‘Am I pretty?
Boy: ‘No...’
Girl: ‘Do you like me?’
Boy: ‘No...’
Girl: ‘If I left,
would you cry?’
Boy: ‘Of course not!”
Because of this...
The girl became
sad and decided
to leave
But the boy
grabbed her arm
and said:
'I don’t think
your pretty...
I think
you’re beautiful.
I don’t like you...
I love you.
And if you left...
I wouldn’t cry
I would die.' |
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T hey say nothing lasts forever,
so will you be my nothing?
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She's lost in all the pain
Trapped somewhere going insane
She needs a sign
Some kind of reassurance that
Everything will be fine
Living in a world of tears,
She has no hopes, just fears
Her soul is scarred and shattered
She cant soar through life
Because her wings are weak and tattered
No one has ever told her that they care,
She's reaching out, but no one's there
Most days are a burden
Ans she wonders when the hurting will end
She feels so forlorn, with no one there to comprehend,
She longs for love, someone to take her away
Or just someone to live for everyday
Because she's tired of this feeling,
She's tired of emptiness while she's healing
She tries over and over again to be stronger
But every time the period of pain gets longer
Even though she tries to hold them back, Her tears keep rolling streaking her cheeks black
As she tastes them dying on her lips.
Her heart tears and rips
Her whole world is falling apart,
But her smile hides her broken heart.
Her laughter hides her feelings,
That are still true.
Who is this girl?
She could be the girl sitting next to you...
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